Long before she was publishing, Vicki Lord was learning to listen. At 13 she began an apprenticeship at Oliver’s Hair Salon, an environment where bold looks and louder personalities were the norm. Surrounded by confident stylists, she found herself wrestling with identity in quiet moments between rollers and rinses: did she want to emulate those women, or was she drawn to them in a different way? That early tension — a blend of admiration and attraction — became a throughline in both her life and later work. In her career she has become a multi award-winning hairdresser, educator and former TV presenter, and she now turns decades of salon stories into something more public.
The transformation from private memory to published pages was gradual. Vicki kept many confidences from clients and small revelations from her own life, including a youthful encounter at 20 with a masculine-presenting bartender that she later included in her book. Conversations that began as routine consultations expanded into candid discussions about relationships, ageing and physical pleasure. Those moments convinced her mother and mentor that the material was too valuable to remain anecdote, and with encouragement from Jordan Martin — now her publisher — she decided to write. The result is a book that aims to demystify and normalise parts of women’s lives that are often unspoken.
From the chair to the page: origins and influences
Working one-to-one creates a unique intimacy. The practical act of cutting and styling becomes the backdrop for stories that range from the domestic to the erotic. In this setting, Vicki found the role of informal counsellor unfolding naturally: clients unburdened themselves about marriage, menopause and desire while she tailored layers and colour. That environment also allowed her to test how frank language landed with different people. The book collects such moments, reframing them as shared human experiences rather than scandals, and places them alongside practical guidance born from years behind the basin.
The salon chair as a safe space
The premise of the book rests on the simple idea that the salon chair is more than a seat—it is an arena for authenticity. Clients arrive for a trim and leave having voiced things they might never say elsewhere. Some seek styling advice; others ask about libido, body changes or how to talk to partners. An older client once spoke candidly about renewed sexual sensation in later life, and such moments reveal how stereotypes about age and intimacy can be shattered in a single conversation. Vicki treats these disclosures with respect and wit, using them to illustrate broader themes of reinvention and self-acceptance.
Why hairdressers become informal therapists
There is a structural reason hairdressers often play this role: the combination of privacy, time and trust. Appointments create uninterrupted one-to-one time, and the ritual of grooming invites relaxation. Vicki frames this as an occupational truth rather than a gimmick: listening is part of the job. Over time, the accumulation of stories helped her see patterns — questions about identity, shame, language and pleasure — and turned those patterns into chapters that both entertain and educate. Her approach mixes practical tips with candid memoir to make difficult topics approachable.
Writing boldly: content and intent
Let’s Talk Sex, Cuts And Blow-dries is intentionally provocative in title and generous in content. The book pairs anecdote with practical material, including a clear, empowering illustration of the female anatomy to help readers and their partners understand bodies without embarrassment. Vicki also addresses identity and sexual discovery, offering language and frameworks for people who may still be figuring themselves out. She describes parts of her own journey, from early uncertainty to present-day openness, while providing actionable advice so that readers can apply insights to their own lives.
Purpose and audience
The aim is twofold: to validate experiences that often feel isolating, and to invite curiosity at any age. Vicki hopes the book will prompt readers to question assumptions, explore new understandings of pleasure, and feel less alone during transitions. Her tone shifts between laugh-out-loud candidness and grounded instruction, a balance that mirrors the mix of banter and counsel that defines her work behind the chair. The manuscript’s candid moments have sparked conversation — sometimes literally — but that response underscores the need for frank, shame-free discussion.
Ultimately, Vicki’s story is about more than hairstyle choices: it is about the small, ordinary spaces where transformation happens. The salon becomes a mirror not just for appearances but for identity. By collecting these moments into a book, Vicki Lord offers an invitation: to speak honestly, to seek knowledge and to allow personal reinvention. She remains a prominent figure in queer media circles and a familiar name to readers who follow DIVA, the magazine that supports queer women and gender diverse people; the publication now operates under the DIVA Charitable Trust, continuing to spotlight community stories and cultural work for future generations.