Entering perimenopause and menopause can bring significant changes to your body and your intimate life. Many believe this phase diminishes sexual pleasure, but it can actually be an opportunity to explore new dimensions of intimacy. Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, shares her expert advice on navigating this transition with joy and satisfaction.
Roos emphasizes that communication is key during this transformative period. As your body changes, so do your desires and preferences. Open conversations with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t can enhance your intimate experiences. Making these discussions part of the foreplay can add a layer of excitement and connection.
Adapting to Physical Changes
The hormonal shifts during perimenopause and menopause can affect how quickly you become aroused and lubricated. Roos advises patience and a focus on extended foreplay. Taking your time with each step can lead to more satisfying experiences. She also highlights the importance of using high-quality lube to combat vaginal dryness, suggesting it be readily available during intimate moments.
Exploring new types of touch and stimulation can also be beneficial. What worked before may not be as effective now, so being open to slower, softer, and different ways of pleasuring each other can lead to new discoveries. Roos recommends starting this exploration through solo play and then sharing your findings with your partner.
Overcoming Performance Anxiety
It’s common to feel performance anxiety when things don’t go as they used to. Roos encourages addressing these feelings openly with your partner, as this can alleviate much of the stress and make intimacy more enjoyable. She also suggests prioritizing comfort by using pillows for support, staying hydrated, and even starting with a hot shower to ease into the mood.
Sex toys can be a game-changer during this phase. Roos particularly recommends air pulse vibrators or wand vibrators, which can provide soft, comfortable, and deeply satisfying stimulation. She also stresses the importance of listening to your body. If something hurts, it’s crucial to stop and address the issue, whether through communication, slower exploration, or professional help.
Embracing New Desires
Roos notes that some people experience an increase in libido during menopause, while others may feel less interested in sex. Both are normal, and the key is to explore what turns you on now. Breaking old patterns and being open to new experiences can lead to the best sex of your life. She encourages curiosity and a willingness to adapt to your changing body and desires.
By communicating openly, prioritizing comfort, and being willing to explore new pleasures, you can enjoy a fulfilling and satisfying sex life during this transformative phase.
Sofie Roos is a licensed sexologist and relationship therapist, as well as an author at the Swedish sex and relationship magazine Passionerad. Her work is dedicated to providing insightful and practical advice for LGBTQIA+ women and gender-diverse individuals.
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