I want to begin by acknowledging you: the people who have read, subscribed to and championed DIVA over the years. Your support for an independent, proudly sapphic publication has kept a vital voice on the page and online, allowing us to prioritise stories that mainstream outlets often ignore. In a world where representation can still feel scarce, your belief in inclusive reporting and unapologetic queer narratives matters. Those conversations, letters and messages have changed how I see the work we do and have given me the courage to turn my own experience into a book.
Working closely with readers and contributors has shown me what a difference storytelling can make. Time and again, people have told me that reading someone else’s truth gave them comfort, a laugh, or the permission to breathe a little easier. Those responses nudged me toward writing my own life down. My new book, What A Girl Wants: A (True) Story Of Sexuality And Self-discovery, grew from those moments. The project is an attempt to pay forward the empathy and solidarity I have received, and to open a conversation about how identity, desire and community shape a life.
Why I wrote this book
The decision to write a memoir felt like the next logical step after years of editing, commissioning and curating other people’s memories. I wanted to offer a lived account that blends humour with hard truths, because authenticity can be a form of resistance. My aim was not to craft a polished lesson but to share the messy, sometimes embarrassing, often illuminating chapters that led me from a shame-filled adolescence to a more present, assertive adulthood. The book is both personal and political: it reflects on intimate struggles while acknowledging the broader pressures queer people face when visibility itself can become contested.
Personal and community themes
Within the pages you will find reflections on issues that matter across our community, such as body image, mental health, harassment, heartbreak and deep grief. I explore how those experiences intersect with desire and the process of coming out in different moments of life. The narrative connects individual episodes to wider conversations about safety, representation and resilience, showing how private pain and communal joy are often braided together. Throughout, I hope the reader recognises familiar aches and also finds reasons to laugh and to keep going.
What the memoir covers
The book traces my journey from a closeted, bewildered 13-year-old to the out, thirty-something editor of a leading magazine for queer women and gender-diverse people. Expect candid scenes, comic missteps and quieter reckonings. I don’t shy away from difficult topics; instead I place them alongside moments of serendipity and connection that sustained me. What A Girl Wants aims to show that identity evolves and that the act of telling your story can create space for others. It is published by Bluebird, Pan Macmillan on 17 April and will be available in paperback, audiobook and ebook formats.
How readers can connect and respond
I wrote this book because of the conversations I’ve had with readers, and because those conversations taught me that sharing can be transformative. If the memoir resonates, I would love for it to spark your own storytelling: letters, posts, zines, or simply chats with friends. The easiest ways to support the work we do at DIVA include reading, subscribing and sharing pieces that matter to you. You can also follow me on social media at @roxybourdillon and pass the book along to someone who might find hope or humour in it.
Keeping queer media alive
Finally, please note that DIVA now operates as a charity and the magazine is published by the DIVA Charitable Trust. If you value media made by and for LGBTQIA+ women and gender-diverse people, consider supporting the trust so this work endures for future generations. Together we can continue to uplift queer stories, broaden representation and protect spaces where candid narratives are welcomed. Thank you again for inspiring me to tell my story; I hope this book feels like a conversation between friends.