In the world of dating, Bryn Woz, a performer and writer, has a unique approach. She skips the usual small talk and dives straight into the heart of the matter: sexuality. Her method? Asking potential partners to rate themselves on the Kinsey Scale of 0 to 6. This isn’t just about curiosity; it’s about finding someone who truly understands and embraces queerness.
Woz’s upcoming show, SMUT at the Edinburgh Fringe from 5 to 31 August (excluding 18 and 25 August) at 9.10 pm, promises to delve into these themes and more. Her insights offer a fresh perspective on dating, sexuality, and the complexities of modern relationships.
Understanding the Kinsey Scale and Queerness
For Woz, the Kinsey Scale is more than just a measure of sexual orientation. It’s a tool to gauge compatibility and understanding. She explains, “A two or three is ideal. One is acceptable. Zero signals incompatibility.” This preference isn’t just about fantasy; it’s about finding someone who understands the nuances of queerness.
Woz identifies as queer a term that resonates with her beyond just sexuality. “Queer originally meant strange, peculiar, outside the ordinary,” she says. “That’s what resonates with me beyond the sexuality: the otherness, the out-of-ordinary-ness of it all.” This sense of otherness is something she believes many queer individuals and women can relate to, as they navigate a world not built with them in mind.
The Importance of Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
Woz seeks partners who have questioned societal expectations and examined their own identities. She believes that this introspection fosters empathy and emotional intelligence two non-negotiables in her relationships. “A bisexual man may move through the world with most of the same privileges as a straight man,” she notes, “but somewhere along the way, he’s likely experienced feeling different or being perceived as being such.”
This shared experience of questioning identity and understanding the grey areas of sexuality is comforting for Woz. It’s about finding someone who knows what it’s like to have their identity questioned and who understands that sexuality isn’t binary. “It’s comforting to date someone who knows what it’s like to have others question your identity,” she says, “who understands that sexuality isn’t binary, who lives in that liminal space between two worlds.”
Embracing the Grey Areas
For Woz, the love of the grey area doesn’t end at sexuality. She has always been a unique blend of masculine and feminine expressions. “Sometimes I want to be glam, or soft or dainty,” she shares. “Other times, I want to be loud and boisterous and take up space and not shave my armpits but once a quarter.”
She finds that bisexual men often share this flexibility, which blends nicely with her own. “I like men who are comfortable with vulnerability,” she says. “Men who can be soft without feeling diminished by it. Men who aren’t trying to squeeze themselves into somebody else’s definition of masculinity, because they’ve taken time to explore their own.”
In essence, Woz’s dating preferences are about finding someone who understands and embraces the complexities of queerness and identity. It’s about finding a partner who is comfortable in their own skin and open to exploring the grey areas of life and love.
Catch Bryn Woz’s show SMUT at Assembly Roxy – The Snug from 5 to 31 August (not 18 & 25) at 9.10 pm. For more LGBTQIA+ media, check out DIVA a magazine that has been spotlighting the community for over 30 years. You can support queer media and keep it going for another generation by visiting linkin.bio/ig-divamagazine.
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